Spiritual yoga instructor struggles to define exactly what she means by ‘energy’

A spiritual yoga teacher was yesterday struggling to define exactly what she meant by “energy” when questioned by a newcomer to the class.

Bob, a 52-year-old lorry driver had been urged to take up yoga by his wife’s best friend Liz to help with his bad back and deteriorating posture. Little did he realise however, he was about to endure what he would later describe as “A pile of complete and utter bollocks”

When given the instruction to “powerfully uplift his energy to raise his consciousness”, Bob broke from his pose and wearily asked, “what energy?”

Ziggy a 60-year-old spiritual yoga veteran of 34 years struggled to give Bob a satisfactory answer, “You know,” she said “your energy. The energy that binds you to the earth and stuff. It’s just spiritual energy, can’t you feel it?… It’s just energy. Have you seen Star Wars? It’s a bit like the force.”

Whilst Bob refused to say whether he’d be returning to the class next week, it would seem he’s certainly no closer to understanding exactly what “energy” he was being asked to uplift.