First child in UK to be named ‘Khaleesi’ now old enough to resent parents

The first child in the UK to be named ‘Khaleesi’ after the fictional character in George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire has reached the age at which she can feel resentment towards her buffoon parents.


9-year-old Khaleesi Patterson from Dundee expressed her dissatisfaction with her name in a statement yesterday:


“What kind parent does this to their child?” Khaleesi continued, “I’m sure Game of Thrones is a really good TV show but why did they feel the need to put me through this. You should see the looks I get every time the teacher reads the fucking register. The daft cunts might as well have named me Mother of fucking dragons.”


It’s impossible for Khaleesi to change her name by deed poll until she reaches the age of 16 but sources say she plans to do just that.


It’s unclear whether her younger sister Arya plans to do the same.