Boris Johnson planning to surprise Theresa May with wedgie in latest bid to get sacked

It has been reported that Boris Johnson is planning to deliver a hip-breaking wedgie to Theresa May in the hope that she will finally give him the sack.

Johnson’s unsuccessful attempts to get the boot have so far been limited to verbal attacks such as calling May “the Prime Minster with the poopiest pants in history”. He is said to be getting increasingly desperate to distance himself from the Brexit madness that he caused and has decided to change tack by plotting the underwear ambush.

Sources close to the Foreign Secretary say his plan is to wait for the Prime Minister in the corridor as she makes her way to PMQs at which point he will jump out and quickly grab the back of her underwear, yanking it up “at least to level of her neck”.

Based on his previous behaviour which has gone unpunished by the PM, it is unclear whether such a deed will be enough for Boris to get his marching orders. However, sources have said that he may be in with a better chance if he “can at least break the skin”.