Scientists to make an attempt to remove smug grin from Chuka Umunna’s face

A group of scientists have agreed to make an attempt to remove the grotesquely smug look of satisfaction from the face of Labour MP Chuka Umunna.

The task is set to involve a multi-pronged approach by a diverse team of experts from various different fields including plastic surgery and psychology.

Given that Umunna has never at any point in his entire life looked anything but intensely satisfied with the smell of his own putrid flatulence, sources remain sceptical that the task is remotely possible.