Lying oaf with stupid hair will make best PM says Trump

Donald Trump has defied diplomatic norms by coming out in support of fellow lying oaf with stupid hair – Boris Johnson’s bid to become PM.

Trump made the endorsement after a private meeting with Johnson during which, the Downing Street hopeful agreed to allow the US to flood the UK with chlorinated chicken and hormone fed beef if Johnson becomes PM.

“He’s got great hair this guy, great hair” the President said of Johnson, “great hair and you know, he’s willing to do anything I ask, anything you know. He’d make a great PM.”

Aides to the President refused to say whether or not Trump’s endorsement required any other favours from Johnson, however, sources did say that Johnson emerged from the meeting wiping away white drool from his mouth and brown marks from his nose.

In other news, Nigel Farage is gutted.