Conservative party chairman James Cleverly is to be permanently replaced by an empty chair after the chair was widely considered to have performed much better than Cleverly would have during an interview with Sky News.
The announcement came from CCHQ earlier today. The chair, who never uttered a single word during the interview, is reported to be taking over from Cleverly in all capacities:
“It’s obvious that this empty chair will better for the conservative party than James Cleverly” a Conservative spokesman said, “Not once during the interview did it: insult the victims of Grenfell, interfere with a rape case, call Muslim women bank robbers or edit a video to falsely imply that Keir Starmer couldn’t answer a question on Brexit. In fact”, the spokesman continued, “We’re thinking of replacing all Conservative MPs with empty chairs.”
The chair was unavailable for comment because it’s a chair and can’t speak, though this is not expected to hamper it’s chances of doing a better job than shit-weasel James Cleverly.