Boris Johnson to become a father for the nth time

Boris Johnson is to become a father it has been sensationally revealed… again… for fuck knows how many times now.

While some people say it’s nobody’s business how many children he has and who cares if nobody really knows, others say, but for fuck sake, he’s the fucking Prime Minster! If he can’t be trusted to own up to how many children he has, how the fuck can we trust any single other word that comes out of his lying cunt mouth?

What is certain however, is that this new edition to the Jonson clan will bring no further clarity to how many members the clan actually has.